LOST..

Before i'm stressing out about the title topic, i like to shared with all of you about today. Today was all about College Stamp. First stamp, 10am. Then, 2pm. Last stamp, 8pm. Hell tired. Thank God i chose this decision because i know, i would not get any stamp if i involved with the Selangkah Ke UiTM since it would be very busy and i can't get out from it. Anyway, thanks to all of my coursemates who brave enough to sacrificed themselves. That is really brave.

Move on..

LOST. That is the word that can describe or define my self for the time being. I lost in my own world, the world me myself create and draw. Pathetic, indeed. I don't know who to be trusted the most (like i ever did). Before this, it was you and me. After that, there was no more you or me. The crack of the ship getting more visible over the time. Before you know, the ship was full of the water that will sink you down. Maybe the ship was not taking care enough by the crew and no one give a $hit to fix it. Now the ship is sinking, i don't know whether to save myself or everyone else. I'm afraid that if i save myself, i would be all alone (like i never did all the time, but still) and if i save others, i might killing myself. I'm might be the one who didn't make it.

I'm losing my mind, losing the faith that i have all this while. You might see I'm very putting together and confident, but inside, there is thunder and typhoon or even tsunami. Deep inside i'm very fragile. I don't where my foot will bring me. Hopefully, to a very heavenly place where i can rest my pumping heart and my shaking mind. Where i can laying around freely and i can escape the chaos of the world. Where i can meet the one who really can read my mind and my feeling. Where i can expressed myself and where people give attention to everybody. Where the word RACISM (and the rest of the word that connected to the word in front) is unknown.

Too bad, i'm still lost in this world. I'm still finding the right path lead to the happiness. I just wanna be HAPPY (like what Leona Lewis song said). But, damn, no one want to give a helping hand. Hopefully, when i wake up tomorrow, i see the right way and choose it.

Next..

Last night, when i attend the closing ceremony for Festival Gading, i was accompany by my roomate but seriously, i feel like i was all alone by myself. Alone. He was there, with his fellow friends and i standing right next to them but it feel like there was no one there. I was invisible to them. I was trying so hard to fit in, but no, i didn't work if you are the only who working on it. Then, i realised, i'm not belong there. I see Tita (my friend), far away from me, and when i trying to call her, she answer it but before i could happily telling her that i see her, she hang up. Don't know why. Then she messaged me, telling me where she is. That sound like she was annoying with me, like she know what the beneath of the course i'm calling her. I don't know if its the real reason. Too bad for her, i wear my glasses, i see the expression, her facial expression. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why. I don't need any explanation, all i need, don't do that to anyone else you know. Its okay to happened towards me. I'm used to it. Hey, its Jack, the biggest LOSER of all loser. There is always something loser, is going to happened to me every single minutes. Not complaining, but FYI.
After that, i pretend that i'm enjoying all the entertainment that was showing last night. I'm faking my smile and my laugh. That's what i'm famous at. No one do it better than me. After getting the ticket, i pursue my roomate to go back to Mulu. Before he knows it, i was 100m in front of him and his friends. There is no reason for me to walk along with them if i not going to be noticeable. Its almost feel the same to walk alone or to walk along with them. There is no clear differences. I'm glad i did it.

Enough with the blah blah blah, sorry to anyone if i ever offended them. Sorry.