LIFE : Tests, Heart Broken, Alcohol & Suicide.

So, what the hell i'm going to babbling about today?

Let start with my personal life (is there any left?). So, yeah. I'm officially single again. Surprise! Our relationship didn't even last for a month (still didn't broke the record : less than 24 hours)! I don't want to put the blame on anyone cause we both got issues with each other that lead to this broken road, before we decide to choose the road on our own. What's wrong with me? First, i'm not serious with this relationship. I used to, at the first week and more, until the unfortunate event taking over my family and steal away my focus. After that happened, i try to reconfigure the relationship. It is very inappropriate for me to have a relationship while me, myself can't be managed. I was really confused during the first and more weeks after that 'event'. It affect others and my study too. So, i was never have my mind in the relationship after that.

Second, i'm not a boyfriend material. My ex was like, every day, sent me a message and videos. It was sweet. Me? Not even once. Seriously, i acting like i don't care about the relationship cause i think it silly. But the thing that i think is the silliest, turn out to be so much important to my ex. My ex want effort from me but i can't provide that cause that's me. Even my BFF are mad at me when i act like i don't give a fuck but eventually they understand me cause i born this way and they know other things that i'm good at. If you want to know me, it takes time and when i speak about time, it means patience too. If i can be patience with my entire Z-list life, why can't you sacrifice your sacrifice for me. I'm not perfect, perhaps. And i'm not going to say sorry for my imperfectness.

Move on..

The other day i spoke to this very indescribable guy. He complaint that life is suck and fuck (isn't that what we do in our life, not for the virgin though). And about couple of weeks ago, one of my allegedly friend post his status about how he want to suicide cause his life is, again, suck. I do, once, tell my friend that i'm going to suicide if my life hasn't turn around. Well, my life did turn around but for worst. Duh, Z-List. Anyway, the point is, when our life is not the way we want and wish for, it is really frustrating to know that fact. But what i see and saw in both of these guys is that they have what i want in this life and still life is suck for them. Hello? Have you ever know my life? My life was sucker than you think, and still i'm living it. First, my dream is never coming true and i don't know why cause God hasn't giving the reason. Second, i'm the biggest freak and loser (not the weight thing). The conclusion : just live your life while you still have it and stop complaining. The less talking, the more working.

Next..

Wow, its been a month since my dad passed away. How my mother handle it? She drink alcohol cause she didn't want to think about it. Poor her. I understand her, so i let her drink it while i took a sip cause i don't want her to drink too much. LOL. Thank God, none of us drunk. We know the limit, okay? We're not the Lohans. We'll handle it better in the future and might forget about it, in a good way, next time. God bless my dad's soul and forgive his sins.

Before that..

So, i took my MUET (Malaysian University English Test) about a week ago. Yes, i'm not planning to further my study but i just want to do it while i still fresh from it and i have it with my friends. Have i ever blog about the speaking test? I can't recall it. Anyway, the speaking test doesn't really go well during the Part A cause the point that i have to explain is bullshit. How am i going to stand up for a point that is really not valid for the topic that we are discussing? To add the fuck up for that part, i was the first candidate. Yeah, i don't have 'extra' time to think. During the full two minutes of presenting the point, i was repeating the longest sentences and i stuck for a couple of seconds. Although i did used crap for that point, i was okay during the Part B. I support the fourth point and it turn out that we concluded that the fourth point is the best. I managed to convince the other candidate to believe that the fourth point is the best.

That was a month before the reading, writing and listening test. On the day of the tests, i woke up late cause i was thinking that is it not MUET day. LOL. So, i can't do my exercised (although i did do a little night before, but i was reading entertainment news. Cliche me.) and i straight go to the exam hall. When i arrived, everyone was already inside the hall and my seat is in the front of the hall. I do my runway a bit. The first test was reading. At first i thought that we were going to read only and unfortunately, we have to do some (or lots) multiple choices question. It was hell boring. The words that they are using was the words that they used in Harvard exams. Such as 'paradox' and 'gist'. WTF! I don't even know what it means. The last article was really confusing. I'm pretty sure the girl was rape victim but at the end the girl was happy. I just don't get the story.

Then, one of the boring and yet most anticipated test - writing. I remember (i don't remember it, but thanks to my BFF for reminding me about it) when i was in doing the MUET preparatory assignment where we have to do a little research and write about it. The article was written by Miehoon and me 100% but the lecturer think that the words are like the real article (written by professional writer) and she didn't believe that we're both doing it. LOL! I was so mad cause that is what we really come out with. When she asked us to do the damage control, we didn't change a bit cause what else to change if that is what we're written and the lecturer praised it. Back to the real MUET, i read the question and i'm yawn cause the topic is so not current. The second question asked us to write about forced marriage in nowadays society. I even write this line in the essay :

"The marriage will be over before you can spelled grandchildren."

"It is not what the modern world is all about."

"It will strip the freedom from the children to choose their partner."

Yeah, thanks to gossip sites cause i used some typical words arrangement and metaphor from it into my MUET essays. And thanks to Natasha Bedingfield's Strip Me song, cause i used 'strip' from that song. LOL! I listened to that song the night before.

Okay, the listening test was the hardest. When i heard the voice of the 'actors', i was like : "Fuck! British slang!" I love British slang but i can't understand any words from it. So, i have to used bullshit point to add to the not heard point (not because i'm deaf but its British). I was a mess. So, i'm sure i can't beat Kay allegedly Band 5. Maybe barely pass. I'll inform you guys the result.

Overall...

Its all i can babbling today. We'll wait for another Blah Blah Blah session. To wrap up this post, i let u guys listen to Natasha Bedingfield's Strip Me. Enjoy!